Why the attack on Kate?

I have seen so many blog posts, tabloid covers, snarks, sneers, tweets, talk shows, premieres, and smears that I have to wonder why everyone feels the need to bag on poor Kate Gosselin.

Did she go shit on your front lawn or something? Did she slap you in public? Maybe she spilled your drink? Cutsy in line? Did she tattle on you?

How petty can women really be. Bad enough we have a mom blog war that now we have these women (probably the same war wagers) judging without mercy about how she (Kate) treats her husband, how she raises her children, how she wears her hair, I mean really……is THAT all you have in life is your boring time to judge someone on a reality show? Do you not have better things to do with your time?

I have to say that I love Kate Gosselin. Really I do. Want to know why? Let me tell you.

For one she is a MoM. Not your typical mom, but a real MoM which means she is a Mother of Multiples. MoM women are a different breed, we run our homes a different way, we look at life a little differently, we know the ear shot comments, we know the sneers, jeers, jests, know-it-alls, and “let me tell you how to be a mom” type comments.

I just don’t understand why so many people dislike her, judge her without mercy, and bag on her like she is the biggest pest on Earth.

I love Kate for her time management with those kids. If you have more than 2 children you understand time management. If you have twins or higher order multiples, you really get what I am saying. I love that Kate has some really well behaved children for how many she has. I can barely get my oldest singleton Big G to ask to be excused every night from the dinner table. Although he does have all of his “please,” Thank you,” “Welcome,” and “excuse me” down pat so at least I know I am doing something right.

Seriously, do people think she is just suppose to let her house and her children go? UH NO! Seriously I only have one set of multiples and every day my house is a disaster, I couldn’t imagine TWO sets of multiples, especially higher order multiples. Eight kids is a LOT to clean up after, so I can see her point of view with being so anal.

The husband thing…..I am so there. I made DH watch the show with me……he just kept turning and looking at me like he was watching my twin on TV. Again, when you have more than one or two children, especially, especially multiples your life is completely different. You manage your children….and sometimes your husband……much differently. Sometimes DH gets thrown into the kid mix, not his fault, but when you are managing a home, everyone is an employee, including DH. Parents have to be a united front and if one parent slacks, then the kids know it and FORGET IT!

I do thoroughly enjoy the singleton parents who have a lot of kids. I understand, I hear you. But just because you have kids “really close in age….like having twins”…..yeah that is not like having twins. Having twins or higher order multiples is like having twins or higher order multiples. You have no idea to have two or more infants needing feedings at the same time, two or more infants crying at the same time and figuring which one you pick up first….and then do you let the other cry because you are trying to console one? Yup this happens when you don’t have help, or you are outnumbered like with Jon and Kate.

So mothers of multiples don’t just have “X” amount of children, nope they have all those kids at the SAME TIME. This is NOT the same as having “oh well my kids are like twins because they are close in age.” WRONG. NOT THE SAME. NOT. EVEN. CLOSE.

So I learned to do everything at the same time. I tandem breastfed my kids until I about lost my sanity which was until they were 10 months old. I would solid feed them at the same time with both hands, baths were at the same time, bed times at the same time, naps at the same time. Why all at the same time? Because this is called time management, if you don’t know time management as a mother of multiples you have time FOR NOTHING!

I would really like to know if there are other MoM’s out there who love to watch Kate Gosselin because she makes life feel normal. That her life is a lot like ours, an organized chaos of trying to raise multiples. I would love to hear from my twin or multiple mamas on the whole Kate thing. Because I feel she gets a bad rap and too many people bag on her……why…..so they can feel better about being a bitch themselves I guess. Who knows. I just don’t see the benefit of bagging on a fellow mom….we do what we can with the tools we are given. We learn to evolve with our tools and we evolve from learning other ways of working with our kids and our husbands. I know I have with the grace of my AWESOME therapist “Pat.”

I have to say next time you see a mom of twins, triplets, or any other higher order of multiples just give them a smile. They don’t need your comments of:

“Man I couldn’t imagine.”
We know, that’s why WE have the multiples and you don’t.
“Better you than me.”
Thanks! We know how weak you are which is why the higher power chose US to handle more than One at a time.
“You sure have your hands full.”
You have NO IDEA and you know what? We love every stinking minute of it with all the hugs and kisses.

Just remember that karma sucks. Every Mom does the best she can, even if she is not raising her kids to YOUR standards. I know I am not perfect, nor is Kate, neither is the mom who is passing judgment on Kate and every other mom trying to do the best she can with what she was given.

Meet the Author

Karie Herring

Karie Herring rambles of a former life in Phoenix, AZ while raising a teen and tween twins in their new home in Orlando, FL. She has been featured in AOL Money & Finance, Betty Confidential and Career School Now. She's a full-time technical writer, functional fitness athlete, overachieving wife and mom. She loves talking about maneuvering motherhood, womanhood, and her passion for essential oils and natural living.

11 comments… add one
  • ModernMom May 26, 2009, 12:46 am

    Found this post and had to comment. I don’t have twins, just two lovely girls 2 years apart, but I love Kate, and her show. It’s a show my entire family watches and loves. I admire the way she keeps control and loves every single on of those kids. She is real! My heart goes out to this family! I have no idea why people are being so harsh. I always take the attitude of “until you walk in their shoes”. I hope Jon and Kate take some time for themselves and get their little family back to where they are happy.

    Love your blog 🙂

  • Reiza May 26, 2009, 12:53 am

    I thought I was the only one. I do see my husband and myself reflected in Jon & Kate a bit. Granted, I think they both get a bit too extreme at times, but yeah, overall, I "get" them.

    I never thought of it as being a multiples thing (I have twins and 2 singletons), but maybe it is.

    Although, I do think the issues with the couple go beyond that. Kate seems to come off as attention-hungry and Jon comes off as disinterested. Not sure how much of that is editing, though. They just seem a bit more extreme than other parents I know–multiples or otherwise.

  • The POSHpreneur May 26, 2009, 1:27 am

    I’m with YOU! I am not a parent of multiples but I do commend her on her time management skills and getting all those kids up and out everyday. I just could not imagine her life. Sucks about all the negativity and hopefully things can be worked out for the best for them all.

  • beth May 26, 2009, 1:57 am

    ok…so here is my take on jon and kate. i’m totally over them. i loved the show in the beginning, but i lost interest when they were both able to be home all day with the kids; when they were able to move into a great, big house with lots of land that was big enough for their family; when all of their vacations were paid for; when they went to “day out with thomas” and had a private train car and didn’t have to wait in line; the list can go on and on. the life that they have now is MUCH less challenging than the one they had when they started the show. while i only have 5 kids (one set of twins), i’m pretty sure that if my husband and i were both home all day in a big spacious house, life would be a lot easier.
    my other problem with them is that they are famous BECAUSE OF THEIR CHILDREN. the fact that they are running around on each other and sniping and showing up on morning talk shows seems to display a tremendous lack of respect for each other and their children. they had to know this would become gossip fodder for the public and yet they put themselves first, not their children.
    it’s kind of sad, because i really liked them in the beginning. i liked that they talked to each other like real people do and that they showed that it is hard and everything is not peachy keen all teh time. now, i totally think they have jumped the shark and i wish they would just go away (and i like kate’s hair, but i think it needs to be layered a little or cut on an angle on the longer side, if you want my opinion!)

  • Chelsea May 26, 2009, 1:07 pm

    I just wrote a post about this. I don’t have multiples but what I do have is Kate Gosselin time management envy. I am in awe of her. I think any show can edit and any tabloid can type what they need to make people see what they want.

  • Mrs. Fish: aka Two Fish May 26, 2009, 1:59 pm

    Modern Mom – thanks so much for the comment. I agree that Kate is REAL. I think that at the core she is real. I have read her books and you can feel her authenticity in the books about life, marriage and kids. I think we as moms and people sometimes judge too harshly….we do what we can out of love for our children.

    Reiza – When I had my first I was so laid back…easy breezy. Now that I have my twins, forget it. I am a neurotic OCD mess! I find their whole situation sad of late because you have watched them evolve into this TV monster. I truly hope some of this is editing.

    Clarissa – I too hate the negativity that surrounds that family. I think they had good intentions of doing the show….starting with how they did the documentary that turned into the show. I hope in the end everything works out.

    Beth – I hear you sister! I do commend them for being very savvy and smart with the show and the money but definitely makes you wonder HOW Much of that money has gone to their heads. I think if your situation got that out of hand that NOW after FIVE seasons they are the talk of gossip mags, you are right the respect is gone and this is WAY beyond struggling with a large family. LOL, ROFL about the hair comment!

    Thanks ladies for your comments, they are so much appreciated!

  • Reiza May 26, 2009, 2:30 pm

    Beth, I agree with you completely. Our twins were our first and we’re a military family, so we live in an area where we had no friends or family. We had no help at all and my husband worked all the time (and was often away). I had no previous experience with newborns and suddenly, we had to find our way with two children and no help. It was rough.

    In the early days of the show, I liked seeing the honesty in it, but now, their lives are funded and it’s so far from most MoM’s reality.

  • MaryRC May 26, 2009, 3:06 pm

    oh it just comes with the “fame” territory, not saying its right, one of my friends was slandered horribly for a year because his nanny seduced him. i mean what unmarried drunk male isnt going to boink a young girl in his room naked. duh! well, like he said, its part of the gig, if you cant handle it get another job. when she signed that production contract to be on tv, she gave up the rights to privacy. it sucks, and i dont care to work with those who require large entourages because the stalkers are outta hand, and im ready to crack skulls by the end of the day because life is so inconvenient among them. i feel sorry for them and have zero desire to be famous. id be in the tabloids too.

  • beth May 26, 2009, 7:59 pm

    i have to revise my kate opinion. i just read that she shops FOR FREE at gymboree. i no longer like her at all aymore. i totally love gymboree but rarely shop there because of the prices. she gets to go there for free. totally annoying. i can’t stand them anymore.

  • Mrs. Fish: aka Two Fish May 26, 2009, 9:20 pm

    I love you ladies for posting comments and giving me feedback about this.

    Chelsea – I am with you there. I think there is a lot of editing and what have you…granted you can’t edit a totally perfect show depicting only negative, but we all have our flaws.

    Reiza – I hear you! I could not imagine having my first and second at the same time as a first time mom….I would have been more of a neurotic mess than I already am. i know I have limited family so figuring out the whole multiples thing was a challenge to say the least.

    MaryRC – I agree with that too. I think someone who is in the lime light does allow themselves to be put out there for judgment. I don’t agree with the whole public judgment, but I do agree that the behavior happens.

    Beth – Maybe we should say something on our blogs?! Maybe get a smaller shop to do the same and we can post millions of adorable pictures with our kids in these fabulous clothes….provided by…(which company wants to supply?? The Children’s Place? Baby Gap?? Old Navy?? C’Mon now…we have multiples!!)

    I think sometimes the fame gets the better of our good nature and we aren’t always at our best. But I guess I am just too nice like that…I just can’t judge.

  • Stacie's Madness May 27, 2009, 7:49 pm

    *I* sound like Kate sometimes and my kids aren’t even CLOSE in age.
    🙂

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