Multiples are such a curiosity; twins, triplets and higher order multiples always garner childlike questioning from adults. Over the years I have compiled many of these questions, to this day they still make me giggle. During the height of the whole Octo-Mom fiasco, people flocked to the twins and I like a moth to a flame. The gamut of vulnerable, obvious, sometimes silly and sometimes outrageous questions presented themselves to the marveling passersby. Here is my top list of questions from people (and parents) without twins ask parents who have twins and higher order multiples:
Are they twins?
Followed immediately by the next question:
Are they identical? (and or) Can you tell the difference?
Considering I have boy-girl twins, categorically swaddled in matching gender colors as infants, my answer was generally a long, empty, staring pause, followed with a sweet smile.
Do twins run in your family?
Are they natural?
My assumption was that they were toeing around the idea of fertility. Answering witty and with fun is always interesting so I would state, “Oh yes they are totally natural, free range and organic too.” Twins run deep in my family…just dig DEEP into the family tree to see twins only happened one other time. I was a lottery winner for the blessing of twins.
Are they yours?
I have yet to generate a polite and witty response to this question, the best I have recanted with was “No, in fact they aren’t even mine, I just picked them up from the rental company” or “No their father dropped them off with me for the the next 18 years.”
Do they both have the same father?
Who even asks if they have the same father, I suppose they might have watched way too many talk shows or reality television to inquire of such an absurdity.
Do you have your hands full?
I think this was mostly rhetorical, so I never bothered to answer. God gave me two arms and two hands and two additional little people to hold, hands full is an understatement.
How do you do it?
Just like raising any other child…again mostly rhetorical.
Is there an evil twin?
Do you have a favorite?
Are you getting sleep?
Are you tired?
How do you feed them?
Do you have help?
Double trouble came in when they were more mobile, the trouble was welcoming as S&S were deeply entertaining with their own language to each other, as well as their wild curiosity. Evil twin…classified by my daughter, this is still an evolving process, more so she is a force to be reckoned with as opposed to being evil. Picking a favorite is just too hard…well…I uh, moving on. Sleep? My eldest is now 12 and the twins are seven, I will sleep when I am dead. Tired is an understatement, Dutch Bros is a stock option in my home. Feeding was a scheduled event with twin-fants, like clockwork as I had them on a simultaneous, tandem schedule which afforded us all sleep, sanity, and time as a family. One thing we did not do was hire a nanny, many of my multiple mom friends did invest in this help, however I thoroughly enjoyed the precious little time I experienced with S&S as infants. Time I would love to get back as I watch them grow and evolve.
Do you do things the same for them?
The only thing they have ever done the same was done in the first 18 month of life in regard to feedings and sleep times. Do I do things the same? Yes, I love them both the same just as I love my singleton eldest son, I love all my children the same.
My goal was to raise two separate and independent children despite sharing the same womb space, birthday and intimate sibling bond; I never wanted their identity to be tied to their birth status. S&S are so amazingly beautiful to watch today with unique personalities, spaces, independence and yet in their quiet moments they gravitate to be around one another. Multiples parents, what are your favorite and or off the wall questions? Folks without multiples, have you found yourself asking curious questions about twins and higher order multiples? If you ever want to ask a truly wonderful question to a parent of twins and higher order multiples, ask them how life changing and amazingly awesome life has been for them by having twins.