The long road to parenthood. Trials, tribulations, struggles and heartbreak led us to ourÂ beautiful gift. He was so aptly named Grant. Our gift. We sputtered as new parents,bumbling at times, our decision was “no more kids” for some time. Until we jointly agreed (albeit we were suffering from honeymooners syndrome while at a wedding) to try for another baby to complete our family. Shortly after this decision we found we were pregnant…with twins.
Laying naked upon an operating table as my uterus suddenly becomes a treasure chest to root around in for the prize, we again made the decision for “no more kids.” However, not but a month later as we sat oogling the miracle of our twins we began to gaze into one another’s eyes. I let the following statement fall flat, out of my mouth, “You know…we could just have one more?”
Wait was that a statement or a question looking for justification. The Chad looked at me and said, “Dude are you nuts!? How many twins have we been pregnant with and delivered?” and just when my postpartum tears began to flow he chimed in with, “Babe…I have thought about another baby too…” and he let his words hang.
Flash forward two years, past an entire YEAR of tandem breastfeeding, tremendous weight loss and weight gain AND weight loss again, teething, crawling, walking, talking, and now peeling the paint off the walls. Bold escapes, kindergarten, going from mama to “mom,” we have reached yet another milestone as a family.
On Monday March 22nd we will close a chapter, the end of an era, I am and will endure a small bit of grief as we move forward in our lives, as The Chad visits a urologist. Yes. A urologist. The trodden track to say goodbye to his ever powerful little swimmers. No longer will the crew (semen) of the Navy ship “Joey” swim my sea of “Freeda” to resuscitate my drowning gametes. No longer will my uterus be host for a beautiful little parasite. We are done having kids.
I am relieved and saddened all at the same time. I am sad that I will no longer experience the joys of a first smile, the first tooth, crawling, first steps, no more firsts. Because motherhood has become so much more to me when I had the twins. My great feat was to have children. With the birth of my first, Grant, I was overjoyed, when we decided for a second we really got a double! But the first feeling that waves over you when you hold your child after birth, that first is one that I will cherish for each pregnancy, child, no longer will I feel that feeling except as a memory. Bittersweet and grateful for my elephantine memory.
But we know this is best. We have agreed that if we do not follow through with this decision and we do get pregnant, we might as well call aÂ TVÂ network. We had better start working on getting pregnant again because after, one singleton pregnancy and delivery, three twin pregnancies and one full term twin delivery is statistically proof enough that we will have more twins and enough to tell us we are NUTS if we do not go through with this decision. So on Monday we have a consultation to bid farewell to his boys.
Ever so grateful that we can count our chickens as they have all hatched. Forever we shall be “The Five Fish” and I could not be more happy and thankful for my family just as we are.