Yes the title of this blog is a direct reference to a movie surrounding zombies. The Chad and I are huge fans of horror flicks and zombie movies are some of the best (*cough…worst) movies around. I mean anyone who is anyone has seen a B rated zombie movie and laughed, or you got hooked on the A&E series, or maybe your kids talk about zombies with their video games (*cough…not my house).
But there is one thing that I will attest to with zombies, despite their total non-existence, is that I know they are attracted to noise. Lots of loud, obnoxious, even just muffled noise, zombies are attracted to noise like a moth to a flame. So I am going to ask you of a large favor in the event that one day our world were to ever become overrun with brain eating, flesh munching, scavenging zombies.
But let’s look at this noise issue. Seriously my kids are prime zombie dinner. I kid you not, from the moment my Seth-en-stein is awake his lips are a running and he is on his way to verbally vamoosing you, honestly the words leave his mouth so fast you can hardly answer the first question he vomited your way let alone the next. Up next is Little Bitty who is the house manager and has a shrilling scream that would break the most finest of crystal if the right pitch allowed, so come on zombies….we are just sitting ducks waiting for you just on these two alone. Finally we have The Boy and The Dog….mind you the dog snores worse than any human. In fact someone asked me what the rumble was….I had to confess it was my English Bulldog snoring…no rumble. I am left now with the boy who if you asked him to be quiet would argue the art of being quiet just for sake of debate.
In the event of a world zombie domination
AVOID MY HOUSE!
Yes, avoid my house because my family will be the first victims because my children cannot shut the fuck up for more than one point one milliseconds. The fighting, screaming, whining, crying, carrying on is going to be a zombie magnet and we can guarantee to be zombie dinner. Thank you and best wishes.
Are you sure you didn’t step into our house by mistake? My kids drive me absolutely fucking insane. As I’m typing this I have one kid making trilling noises with her lips as she’s walking around in circles purposefully bumping my chair every time she walks by. The other kid hasn’t shut up about WoW since she woke up this morning. I swear she even manages to talk about it between bites of food. They both take a break from this little exercise in driving both my husband and I nuts by wrestling with each other on the floor and even though their mouths are just inches from the others’ ears they insist on yelling and shrieking at each other as if they were a block away.
And to think my husband got me headphones LAST Mother’s Day – the kind that lets ambient noise THROUGH. What the fuck is up with that? I need headphones to BLOCK the noise – not let it through!
Looks like the Zombies with hit us both. It will be a combined effort in strike zones.
Miss you!