Bloggers and Taxes

TAXES!! Yes, the dreaded word. We live, pay, hate, and will die paying taxes. I hope this helps some…please do NOT be confused by others posting information. ALWAYS consult with a tax advisor or an accountant (such as moi!) before filing. Your penalty under law is that you will have to pay or you may be charged with tax evasion in the event that you incorrectly file or claim specific deductions and incomes on your taxes. Here are the basics about blogs and taxes. Again I highly stress TALK TO AN ACCOUNTANT! A stay at home mom (with no specific formal training in finance, accounting, or tax laws) or someone who happens to know an accountant is NOT an accountant. Get on the phone, go down to a local office, search IRS.Gov and get your facts.

Let me know if you have additional questions or concerns. I will be posting over the next weeks on taxes as well for first time and existing home buyers how to receive the tax credit and how your mortgage works. Ask me questions and send them to karie@thefivefish.com for future Thursday Tips and Tricks.

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Questions About Taxes: Mrs. Fish Thursday Tips and Tricks

So I want to bring back the old slave of my mind…put her to work for you. I am hearing buzzing about taxes? Home mortgages? Tax credits? Current homeowner tax credits? Oh you didn’t know about that one…ah yes…I will share more! Blog ad payments, review items are they counted towards income, what can you write off, what can you not write off on your taxes? Believe me….I have been audited for NOT claiming everything so I can tell you what is what on your taxes BEFORE you go to your overpaid CPA or worse…GASP….H&R Block. Getting prepared for your taxes is a snap. Bring me your questions.

Throw me all your questions.  I will….cram all of my answers into FIVE minutes of vlog time for next Thursday. Seriously any money, purchase, credit, whatever question you have I HAVE an answer. Could be any question, let’s make this fun too ya know?

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Investments, Money and Your Credit

Your Money, Investment, and Credit 411! Come check out this info. I was really trying to keep you from being bored stiff….but some super great info about investments and diversification, credit and boosting your rating.

Give me lots of questions…..otherwise you will have to hear me rant….about *snore…money!

I tried to KISS this one….but my stupid wouldn’t let me keep it simple. Enjoy! Leave me your questions, money, how I am a turd, whatever your questions are, and let me know if you want to do a guest post! I need your email so I can get in touch with you! Anyway, enjoy your Money, Credit and Investment 411!

Mrs Fish Thursday Tips and Tricks from Karie Herring on Vimeo.

Sites: MyFico.com, Investopedia, FHA & HUD, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac

Got money matters? Financial Questions? Credit Concerns? Email me or leave me your questions in the comments. Have a fabulous day!

Basic Budgeting and Finance

Understanding your money finances, basic budgeting, and how net income works.
VLOG Style Baby!
This is for you all who have lots of questions about money savers, I couldn’t fit everything in…..but I tried. 😉

Thursday Tips and Tricks from Karie Herring on Vimeo.
Also…..give me your questions!!
Mortgage
Auto Loans
Financing
Debt
Investments
What banks look at credit wise?
What affects your credit negative / positive?Gimme some questions, I love to help out with that.

Parents Eat Free Night

Can you believe a night like that at a restaurant exists? I know I had not a CLUE that parents can eat free until DH made the lovely suggestion to go out to eat dinner last night.

WRONG!!! SO. EFFING. WRONG.

Thanks for playing babe, next time, listen to the wife when she says “Beware.”

Let me explain. You see the shiny white round ball at night? We call that the moon. Once a month, usually about the same damn time Flo drops by, the white ball of fury is FULL. Which means that my sweet little squidy gnomes, turn into fire breathing, grimoire casting, horn bearing DEMONS.

Now Seth-en-stein, not so much. The Little Bitty…..O.M.G!!

Seriously the girl is on a rampage. No stopping her. A drawer in my kitchen was open every other second. Garlic press here, spoon there, spatula yonder…….you name it, she pulled it out. EVERY. EFFING. FIVE. SECONDS. Seriously, I contemplated putting a collar around her and a stake in the floor where the rope only had about two feet of play so she couldn’t get into anything. Tupperware, stainless steel bowls clanging.

And then. When I thought her possession had passed and I did not have to contemplate my conversion to Catholicism to invest in a priest to perform an exorcism she did it. She pushed me.

Not physically, I mean she weighs a whopping 22 pounds sopping wet. She climbed up onto the dining table. Unloaded everything on it. Began to head for THE laptop, MY laptop, to hurl it like a discus in a track an field competition. So I told her NO one last time. And she screamed like bloody hell and I lost it. I walked away. I hid in a place where I could call her all the foul names I have called people that make sailors blush. And then I was fine. Until the hubs began debating the dinner debacle.

I hate dinner. Unless I have prepared a menu that week I hate trying to throw together dinner especially when I have been busy working all day. (Cleaning, blogging, gossiping with my mother…ya know…working!) No really, I have been fighting with a customer, I lost $2400 because he was scared of the FBI form….long story on that, and then the demon spawn of hell awoke from her monthly slumber. So we decided on a “kids eat free” deal! WOOT.

Not so much. Basically the dinner Gods said, “Hey Herrings, thanks for playing!”

So we venture to Coco’s, which by the way has some fantastic desserts. And the whole thing is a joke from the get go. The 20 something doesn’t know her asshole from a whole in the wall hostess puts us in a CORNER booth with twins. Um….yo…..where do we put not one, yes count them, TWO high chairs. Alrighty, a new adventure….BOOSTER SEATS!! Negative. Seth-en-stein was great, he was easy peasy pumpkin pie as Big G would say. Not the Little Bitty, oh no. Let’s throw our Crocs across the table, eat crayons, and then SCREAM bloody hell again like someone was yanking her nails from the nail beds with a pair of pliers.

DH patiently pulls her from her stance, takes her outside. I order for the kids seeing as she is probably hungry, hence the extra dose of demonic presence, and I wanted there food there first so they weren’t so cranky and then DH and I could order. They come back…..we go for round two. Negative. Even more ornery, tears, blood boiling screams, kicking. LOTS. OF. KICKING. He takes her back outside just as the food arrives. The boys eat. DH is waiting for me in the car….thinking I am gonna just bail. Um no, feed kids, then bail. He comes back, we try round three and she shows sign of interest in the tempting and toasty chicken nuggets only to begin her dive onto said table where we say EFF IT! DONE!!

As she blood boiling screams, I try to gather all the gear since traveling with a singleton and multiples is seriously a day trip safari the shit we pack. I fumble. He’s impatient, barking begins, and my growls come back. I wanted to tell the Mo Fo…um had you listened at home when I told you going out to dinner was NOT a wise plan, we wouldn’t be snapping at one another. So I take the boys to the car….yeah….car is not unlocked. So I stomp towards the front door and tell DH of his brilliant plan to send me to said car when I DON’T HAVE KEYS! I get the boys and the demon in the car….he pays…..the waiter trys to comp….not sure why. My kid is the asshole. Not like you had turrets for that moment and was freaking like she was. So we leave a hefty tip…..as a bribe that we promise never to return.

On the ride home….incessant screams, cries, no comfort in sight. Not even the blankie. I sit in total silence wanting to be a childish brat and rant this to DH:

“Nah Nah asshat! See I told you!! Not a good idea to go to dinner. Getting out of the house was not good. I told you she was a demon today, she is out of hand, you think I am menstrual….nice…nice excuse. See I WAS RIGHT!!!”

But I sat there. Completely, totally, utterly, emotionally toasted from keeping my cool, holding in my bittersweet victory. I got home…..and BALLED.

I was starving, since I didn’t get to order and not hungry all at the same time from all the chaos and BS of dealing with my baby girl who just needed to go to bed I guess. We tossed her in jammies and she drifted peacefully to sleep. The boys went to bed just as easily.

And then I made myself the best gall dang breakfast burrito!!

Eggs, sausage, hickory smoked maple bacon, fresh diced potatoes and FRESH, oh yes, FRESH homemade tortillas sprinkled with cheese. I ate till I felt like the fattest cat around. Like I was the most depressed woman crying into her Haagen Daas….in my case…..my papas y frijoles. Watched some bad TV and then went to bed before 11pm. And that my friends is how parents eat free on a Kids Eat free dinner night.

Meal Planning Tips and Tricks

Meal time is always the worst part of my day. Any meal. Any time of the day. HORRIBLE!

I have four people who have no idea what they want to eat, stand with the fridge door wide open saying “What do we have to eat” when the fridge is full, and no one can agree on the same thing.

So I have learned to set out a ton of meats, fish, and chicken during the week and basically whip up either favorites, new dishes, a little gourmet, or a little of “Not sure what this is….but it’s freaking good!”

My tips and tricks are with food….I truly hate food. Food and meals are my demons. But here is how we fish survive in the tank when someone else isn’t feeding us (aka takeout):

  • Casseroles. You can’t go wrong with any sort of casserole type dish. Lasagna, enchiladas, anything that you can make in a single dish and toss in the oven. Plus if it is simple to whip up, dinner and clean up are a breeze.
  • Grill. I personally love to grill. The food has a flavor that cannot be replaced. Plus less energy usage. So when I grill I throw my whole meats on the grill FROZEN, this keeps them nice and juicy and you never (ok hardly ever) have to worry about burning or overcooking where the food is so nasty dry. You can grill anything and everything…give it a whirl! Grill lots of extras too! This way you have extras for the week for dinners, lunch, whatever.
  • Menus. I love a menu, this way everyone in the family can participate in what foods they want to eat during the week and makes meal time a breeze. Especially because if dinner is not served at FIVE O’CLOCK SHARP at my house…..demons invade. Seriously its like that moment where Spike from the Gremlins movie takes over the house. YIKES!
  • The Crock Pot can be your friend. I really hate the crock pot because it is ugly and takes up precious storage space. However, I have created many a meals, very tasty ones at that, in my ugly plug her in machine.
  • Forget the rules. Who says you have to have breakfast at breakfast and dinner for dinner. We call it “Brinner.” Who doesn’t love a belgian waffle smothered in fresh fruit, a side of (turkey) bacon, and maybe some scrambled egg whites for dinner or breakfast! Go nuts!
  • Avoid pre-packaged dinner meals. Like the ones where the rice and everything is in it you just add your own meat. HELLO CALORIES!! HELLO CHEESE TO MY ASS! Yeah I made that same “dinner” with brown rice, fresh cheese, frozen broccoli, and chicken. About 400 less calories than the box dinner and everyone wanted and had seconds! Super easy to do as well.
  • Salads. Yes the dreaded greens! But the greens can be fun I have a great taco salad dish that my kids eat because they are involved in the process. Plus if you tell them they can smother it with ranch…they are total game, oh and it has Doritos (I know shame on me).
  • Colors, lots of colors. I tried to have a lot of color in my food. Part of my OCD I think, but I hate when my food looks tan…..all of it. I love vibrant colors and flavors I am a true food whore about that because I have such odd tastes in food.

I would love to hear what your tricks are when making meals, keeping the family happy, trying not to serve the same old “slop” night in and night out, and what helps you save time? I also have lots of yummy recipes for everything from breakfast to dessert that are super easy peasy and totally fool proof! Quite a few are posted on the blog my sister’s and I share and I hope to post some here real soon. Happy Thursday everyone….and stay tuned! I have some great reviews and fun giveaways!!

Home Improvement: Mrs. Fish’s Thursday Tips and Tricks

One of my friends asked me the other day,”Karie, is your house always this perfect? All the time? With Twins? And you were going to school? And you work out of the house? And, and and…..”

I felt so embarrassed, I mean I really do try to let my house go. To let the dishes pile up, the laundry spill out into the adjoining rooms, for my house to collect dust like the desert floor. I mean I really do try to let the old girl go sometimes.

But with three kids, a husband and a dog who cannot distinguish her own identity you learn a few little tricks here and there that help you stay on top of all the messes and keep a clean house without spending days or endless hours slaving, only for your hard work to be flushed away.

Here are my tips and tricks to staying on top of my house:

  • I don’t spend one WHOLE day cleaning and doing laundry. I spread the love around. I do laundry everyday, a load at a time, this way, laundry gets done and I get caught up without spending an entire day devoted to dirty linens and such.
  • I clean my house one room at a time, or one section of the house at a time, one day at a time. This way I just have to maintain. I vacuum everyday, only because I hate crumbs and such under my bare feet. Maintaining is a lot easier than power cleaning.
  • I do dishes as they are dirtied. I run the dishwasher at night so in the morning I can unload it and start fresh, and I never have piles in my sink. (Well never say never…..DH has still to learn the location of the dishwasher to the sink.)
  • Trash is handled by DH and Big G….sometimes me if they slack.
  • Big G’s chore is to feed the confused Bulldog.
  • Little Bitty knows the location of the trash and recycling…..we are still working on the logistics.
  • Pickles Magoo only knows where the food is…..the fridge. And that it can go on the floor for the confused Bulldog to clean up. This makes sweeping a breeze.
Hope this helps some of you Mom’s who feel like your whole life revolves around cleaning the house. I try to look at it as “maintaining my perfection” (*cough…bullshit), OK, so I try. I have to say though that maintaining a clean house is easier than always trying to clean a dirty house. I hope to post some more of my Tips and Tricks.