Going about dinner with my family tonight, I realized how much I have been able to enjoy my children outside of my blog. For the years leading up to this moment I shared almost the two full years of my children’s lives, the first two years of which were for my twins and before were the months leading up to their birth. The fodder of their lives and daily isms is what has driven this blog, making this mostly about parenthood, parenting, being a mother, their antics. All roles and life experiences to revel in, but I am realizing more and more how much I have enjoyed the privacy of my children growing up in front of me, my memories, my moments; our moments.
My little blog will now be evolving and growing as my children have. Visually recognizing that our relationship is truly about parenthood and parenting, mother and child, our values as parents withstanding the test of time, societal pressures, growing pains, individuality, fitting inside the box. Am I fulfilling my children’s lives with cultural enrichment, worldly values and acceptances, and ensuring blinding and bigoted boundaries are eliminated from their being? Call their experience enlightenment or a sense of ascension but I want my children to be just that, children.
Children of their own pace and world away from PR influence, marketing, and main stream of the best and greatest toy, gadget, gizmo, and whatchamajig. Full of wonder and imagination. Encouraged. Loved. Cherished. Appreciated. Supported. I think with a “mommy” or parent blog we are too busy touting our “look at me and look at my kid” that we forget to teach, encourage, cherish, educate. A blog is too much of a public parenthood platform that we are too busy sharing that awesome moment that we forget to live in that moment. Fantastic to put that moment forever into electronic history, but what about just living in the moment. Living with our children. Seeing what we can learn as parents, teaching our children the power of responsibility, ownership, love, respect, values, regret, and the lessons to be learned from these moments.
I watched the other day as a parent went on a tirade about soda served to her young child. While I do not like my children to have soda or other processed drinks including bottled fruit juices (grape, apple, etc), I also know that I can educate them at a young age the affects of these beverages can wreak on their overall health from teeth to how it affects their overall being, thwarting any outside influence to peer pressure them into the sea of wasted humanity. But with watching this parent’s tirade I watched her never take ownership to share or educate her child about soda, any soda, nor did she educate others about her beliefs for her children and that they are her own and to be respected regardless of general society and despite what others believed to be socially okay. In part, her parenthood was so public she forgot to parent her own child and self. We all fuck up, we make mistakes, but evermore, a part of making those mistakes is owning them and teaching our children that we make mistakes, own them, learn from these errors, grow!
Now that my twins have reached the exact age of their oldest sibling when this blog was erected, my eldest son was just about four when I started this blog, I am seeing another turning point to talk about what I do to be a responsible parent. How my children will interact in the unknown future world and hope that my small influence on them  to be righteous, fierce, honest, modest, and simplistic will be contagious. My hope is that this contagion to spread among the masses that being a parent and a public parent means to be held accountable and not inflict some executive order of power that we lack education toward our children in values, decision making and critical thinking. That we value our privacy and publicity as parents and these are in sync with one another.These characteristics should not be left to the institutionalized educators, the education should begin with parenthood. Basic parenting, basic adulthood, and simple humanity.
I only hope that my children know that each human puts their pants on the same each day, and by no means will they ever think themselves more superior, and that my most basic love and adoration for them will be enough to fill their hearts as they have filled mine for dozens of lifetimes.
Sometimes I miss your blog, the pictures of your kids the interaction… but then I remember you are where you are happiest- spending time with your kids.
And sometimes I open my damn mouth too much too, just voicing an opinion and I am afraid to speak, to disagree when it isn’t a bad thing to disagree, it is but a discussion.
I respect your choice to not give your kids certain things, it is how you are raising them. If you didn’t want them to have things that were purple, it would be alright – as long as no one legislates or attempts to restrict my choices TO feed purple.
Oftentimes in an attempt to think for the ‘better good of the masses’ and legislate or delegate, people tend to forget that for everything taken away as a choice they are not only taking away that particular ‘thing’ they are removing a choice- and opening the door wider for the next ‘choice’ to be taken, and the next and the next.
By giving away those choices, you are in effect taking away your own right to be a responsible parent or a responsible adult. You are admitting you have no control or enough self control to be responsible for your own behaviors and the government is a better parent, a better judge of whats good and what’s bad.
It is never wise to put our fate in the hands of a few for the good of the many.
Oh Ellen how I miss you!!! I couldn’t agree more that I would never impose my beliefs on any other parent or damn them for their beliefs. To each his own. We can only hope that people learn to make intelligent decisions and not decisions based on influence or what’s in it for me or appearances. I feel sorry for the children who are not taught about choices, cause and effect, right and wrong.